I Was the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from Kindergarten Cop: A Look Back.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is universally recognized as an iconic tough guy. Yet, during the peak of his cinematic dominance in the eighties and nineties, he also delivered several critically acclaimed comedies. A prime example is Kindergarten Cop, which marks its three-and-a-half decade milestone this winter.

The Film and That Line

In the 1990 movie, Schwarzenegger portrays a hardened detective who goes undercover as a kindergarten teacher to locate a fugitive. During the film's runtime, the investigation plot acts as a simple backdrop for Schwarzenegger to have charming scenes with children. The most unforgettable belongs to a little boy named Joseph, who unprompted announces and declares the stoic star, “Males have a penis, girls have a vagina.” The Terminator replies icily, “Thanks for the tip.”

The young actor was portrayed by former young actor Miko Hughes. In addition to this part encompassed a notable part on Full House as the bully to the child stars and the character of the youngster who comes back in the 1989 adaptation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. Hughes remains active today, with multiple films on the horizon. He also engages with fans at popular culture events. Not long ago recalled his experiences from the production 35 years later.

A Young Actor's Perspective

Q: To begin, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: I believe I was four. I was the smallest of all the kids on set.

Wow, I have no memory from being four. Do you have any memories from that time?

Yeah, to a degree. They're snapshots. They're like mental photographs.

Do you recall how you were cast in Kindergarten Cop?

My mother, mainly would take me to auditions. Often it was like a cattle call. There'd be 20, 30 kids and we'd all simply wait around, go into the room, be in there for a very short time, deliver a quick line they wanted and then leave. My parents would coach me on the dialogue and then, as soon as I could read, that was the initial content I was reading.

Do you have an impression of meeting Arnold? What was your feeling about him?

He was extremely gentle. He was fun. He was nice, which arguably isn't too surprising. It would have been odd if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom, that surely wouldn't foster a productive set. He was a joy to have on set.

“It would be strange if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom.”

I understood he was a huge celebrity because I was told, but I had never really seen his movies. I knew the air around him — he was a big deal — but he didn't frighten me. He was just fun and I just wanted to play with him when he had time. He was busy, obviously, but he'd sometimes engage here and there, and we would dangle from his limbs. He'd tense up and we'd be hanging off. He was exceptionally kind. He bought every kid in the classroom a Sony Walkman, which at the time was the hottest tech. That was the coolest device, that funky old yellow cassette player. I used to rock out to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for years on that thing on that thing. It wore out in time. I also have a authentic coach's whistle. He had the coach whistle, and the kids all got a whistle as well.

Do you remember your experience as being enjoyable?

You know, it's interesting, that movie is such a landmark. It was a huge film, and it was a wonderful time, and you would think, in retrospect, I would want my memories to be of collaborating with Schwarzenegger, the legendary director, the location shoot, seeing the set, but my memories are of being a selective diner at lunch. For instance, they got everyone pizza, but I wasn't a pizza fan. All I would eat was the toppings only. Then, the Nintendo Game Boy was brand new. That was the coolest toy, and I was proficient. I was the youngest and some of the bigger kids would ask for my help to get past hard parts on games because I knew how, and I was quite pleased with myself. So, it's all youthful anecdotes.

The Line

OK, the penis and vagina line, do you remember how it happened? Did you grasp the meaning?

At the time, I likely didn't understand what the word provocative meant, but I understood it was edgy and it caused the crew to chuckle. I understood it was kind of something I wouldn't usually utter, but I was given an exception in this case because it was funny.

“My mom thought hard about it.”

How it was conceived, from what I understand, was they didn't have specific roles. Some character lines were part of the original screenplay, but once they had the whole cast on the set, it wasn't pure improvisation, but they developed it during shooting and, I suppose the filmmakers came to my mom and said, "We're thinking. We want Miko to deliver this dialogue. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't agree right away. She said, "Let me think about it, let me sleep on it" and took some time. It was a tough call for her. She said she was hesitant, but she thought it will probably be one of the most memorable lines from the movie and history proved her correct.